


Zoos are fun! (Spoiler alert: they're actually not)

by tamarieladoness



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Gen, Poor Erik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamarieladoness/pseuds/tamarieladoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik takes the kids to the zoo. Mischief ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zoos are fun! (Spoiler alert: they're actually not)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somerwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somerwrites/gifts).



It's hard enough taking kids to the zoo. But _mutant_ kids? With _actual mutant powers_? Even worse.

So, of course, Erik had to take three of them.

 

At first, everything was going swimmingly. They arrived soon after the zoo opened, got in quickly, and the children were happily walking around the zoo. Nothing wrong, no mishaps, nothing was on fire. Until Erik, stupidly, thought it would be a good idea to buy the children some sweets. Because giving the kids a sugar rush was just the perfect thing to do. Not. It started to get worse fairly quickly.

Erik felt a growing sense of panic come over him, like the feeling you get in the split second before your phone hits the floor when you drop it. Something like that. Basically everything turned to shit and there was very little Erik could do to stop it.

Pietro decided he wanted to run from one end of the zoo to another, and see how quickly he could do it. He thought it was a great idea. (Hint: It wasn't). The zoo was busy and bustling, and so an eight year old running at super speed through crowds of people obviously caused a hell of a lot of trouble. Namely, people falling over, screaming, running, zoo keepers laughing (fucking lot of help they were), and Pietro managing to get lost somewhere in the zoo. Well, at least Erik couldn't find him.

Now, if it was just Pietro, then it would have been hard, but Erik would have been able handle it. Unfortunately, you have to keep in mind that he had eight year old Wanda and six year old Lorna to look after as well. Happy times.

Wanda, with her crazy ass powers that seemed to be able to do pretty much anything, was, needless to say, a lot of trouble. Coupled with the fact that it washard for _her_ to actually _control her powers properly,_  it meant that she was probably the worst of the lot.

She and Lorna decided they wanted to, as Lorna put it “free all the animals and their babies cause they in cages and I don't want to be in a cage” (which, in Erik's point of view, made no sense; the animals being in cages didn't mean she was going to be in a cage. Unless Erik put them all there because they were  _so fucking annoying_ ). Wanda opened the door to the zebra hut (Barn? Shelter? Thing?), and pretty much pushed the zebras out. She also managed to _set it on fire._

Lorna tried to bend the bars of the lion cage, but luckily, because she shared the same powers as Erik, Erik could easily bend them back into shape before any lions escaped. Lorna was sad. Erik wasn't. Pietro had managed to let out all of the birds in the aviary (nobody knows how), and joined Wanda in trying to free the other animals.

So, with everyone in the zoo screaming and running away from the zebras and birds and elephants (ELEPHANTS?! WHEN THE FUCK DID THEY ESCAPE?! Erik was going to die), it was going pretty badly. Erik was on the verge of panic and it was just at the moment he had managed to collect all the kids in one place when two men in suits came up to them.

He could tell they were both mutants straight away. One was covered in blue fur, and looked slightly nervous, and the other had metal bones (they were actually metal _covered_ bones, he found out later) and a cigar in his mouth. He also had the most abysmal haircut known to man. And looked angry. The blue man rubbed his furry hands together and started to speak.

“I'm very sorry sir, but I'm afraid we're going to have to remove you from the premises. I'm very sorry.”

“I'm not sorry. You need to control your kids.” The metal-boned man (he sounded Canadian) sounded pretty pissed. Erik hated him immediately. The blue one was alright, although pretty flighty for someone who could probably strangle Erik with one hand in a matter of seconds.

“You try having three mutant kids.”

“I'd be able to control them even if I did.”

“That's a lie. You don't have three mutant kids so you don't actually know whether you would be able to or not.”

“I still know I'd be able to control three little kids.”

“You think so?”

“No, I know so.”

“That's a fucking lie, you-”

“Please! Gentlemen, there are children present, and a situation at hand. This is no time for bickering.” The blue-furred man looked panicked, and it was at that moment when Pietro (of course it was Pietro) also got scared and _ran off._

“PIETRO!” Erik screamed, running after the blur of motion. The metal-boned man was hot on his heels, and he had no idea where the blue-furred man or Wanda or Lorna were. Pietro was in big trouble. He was also _fucking fast._ They lost him in mater of seconds, and they stopped soon after.

“This is your fault.”

“No it's not!”

“He's your fucking kid.”

“Well I don't know what he's going to do! Did you see him?! He's too fast!”

“Pretty cool power though.”

“Yeah, it is. He can even run up walls.”

“Cool.”

“Mhm.” Erik nodded. Then he looked back and realised Wanda, Lorna, and the blue man had also all disappeared off to God knows where.

“Where has he taken them?!”

“Taken them? Oh. Hank wouldn't do anything to them. He's a massive softie. Literally. Fucking piece of work he is.”

“Where. Have. My. Children. Gone.” Erik glared at the man, his hatred growing by the minute.

“He's probably taken them to the front of the zoo. That's probably where speedy's got to as well.”

“Speedy?! His name's Pietro.”

“And mine's Logan. It doesn't matter.” Erik just stormed off, heading for the front gate. Logan followed him, still smoking his cigar. When they reached the front gate, after a few minutes of Erik getting embarrassingly lost and Logan laughing at him before stopping when Erik squeezed the metal on his bones, they saw Lorna, Wanda, Pietro and Hank all standing there, waiting.

The zoo gates were open, and a sign was on the front of them. It had obviously been shut. They were the only ones left not running out of the gate. Hank happily gave Erik the children back, and they all chatted and laughed on the way home in the car. Erik fumed.

He was never going to the zoo again.

 


End file.
